Smile

Cover me up, hide my flaws
Let people see what never was

Be contagious, spread like fire
No one will ever suspect me a liar

Show compassion, when there's none to give
Through bad and pain there's life to live.

Share the impression that all is good
Let them see me as they should

Exude all happiness, joy, delight
Dissolve confusion, black as night

Cover me up, hide my flaws
Let them see what never was.

What Just Happened

Right now, I am so confused. I don't understand how people can be so sneaky and decieftul. i also don't understnad why it is so each for me to get swept up in all these emotions over someone I barely know, someone I can't really have a relationship with and someone..presumably the opposide of what I need. I am also upset that i can jump to such extreme conclusions after hearing something abotu someone froma third party. This is how gossiv infiltrates our lives and cuts to the core. I don't want to be so fake anymore. I think I've expressed that in numerous ways...after all it is second semeste...I can be real now! Ha. I don't want to parade around as thought I'm ahppy whem I am hurting and I dont' want to pretend I am hurting just to get sympathy and attention. If I expect people to be real with me I need to, in turn, be real with them...I've got some serious work to do! I want to be a real woman who truly follows Christ wholeheartedly. I don't want to continue in the firection I am going..I want to be a light in darkness rather thatn one who - when upset belnds right into the crap that can be this world. Friends, I write this becasue few of you know me...alll of me and I want you to know that I am not always happy or hyper. I'm not always super spiritual. I am very human, I can have a filthy mouth, a very cold heart, and a closed mind. I am simply trying to find a balance in all of this so that through both the great times and the crappy times I can somehow bring glory to God and find peace in knowing that He forgives and pushes me onward.